Usually, the holiday season is not the most expected for me. I like the time off. But that’s it. It’s been some years since the whole family gets together for the season, so I don’t feel too much excited for it.
This year is a bit different because my sister is coming. It’s not because of the holiday, though. It’s because of them. It’s going to be nice to have people over. I guess this is mainly why I like to host in CouchSurfing. Because I get to play the hostess. To have people around, once in a while.I don’t know why I’m writing this one in english… really… there is nothing to it. I just feel more comfortable writing in english. Maybe because I know most people can’t read in english…
Well, I really don’t understand what I’m feeling today. It’s interesting how the holidays are affecting myself. And I get to think if this always happens. I don’t remember. The last two months of the year are usually strange for me. There’s my birthday, many holidays and then X-mas and New Year’s. Maybe I’m starting to understand why people think the holiday season is so important, and why people never want to be alone at this time of the year. I never thought much about it.
Probably I’m still thinking about all that is happening since my b-day. The fact that I traveled so much this year. That I can’t go to BH for X-mas. And all the gifts I’m getting this year won’t be here for X-mas.
I already wrote what I want to get. But the point is I don’t expect to get anything. But deep inside, I do. And I get frustrated every year because I don’t get gifts. Not even for my birthday. And I usually hide myself on my birthday. I don’t like to talk to people on that day. I usually prefer people not to know when my b-day is. I know I had some happy b-days, but all I remember are the ones where people turned down the invitation; or didn’t appear. That’s what sucks when your b-day is close to a holiday. And the worst holiday of the year: Day of the Dead.
When I say that I don’t like my b-day, people usually thinks that I don’t like to tell my age. That’s not even close to the truth. I have no problem about my age. My problem is people trying to be nice to me once in the whole year and stabbing you the whole year round. The other thing is that b-day is too personal for me. And I think like people are crossing the line when they congratulate me for the b-day.
Oh, reading this over and I sound so bitter… I guess it’s because nothing changes. And I really wanted something to change in my life. Other thing that probably can explain is that the last big change in my life was when I moved to CG. Nothing changed since then. And I then I need some changes once in a while otherwise I get really bored. And that’s what I’m feeling right night: bored.